Soft White Underbelly interview and portrait of Matthew, a functional heroin addict from San Francisco.
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Why is this guy..........................me? Lol Without the heroine tho....mine is alcohol 🍸
He reminds me of people o hang out with, I like him.
during the school bomb scares... which, i guess, is still going on... i asked my teacher, "what if someone said they were called by a pay phone and were told that the school was going to get bombed? would we get off a day?" everyone laughed and we moved on... until, my teacher had me ESCORTED down to the principal's office with a sealed letter she wrote. i sat there until cops came and next thing I knew, i was kicked out... i tell u what, if i didn't have any inclination to bomb anything, up to that point... after that, i get it why someone might do such a thing, now. (to the faculty: needless to say, i also get that it was kinda stupid to say.. but i was 15... it was a simple question... i was a little jolly clowny kid. ctfo... CONTEXT, MORONS, CONTEXT)
Kids he's a rare addict heroin will kill you
The reason your arm feels numb is cuz you nod out and fall asleep on it and cut off the circulation. Be careful cuz you can permanently lose all use and feeling of your arm or leg or whatever it is you nod out on and it will be paralyzed for life. There is a medical term and it only happens to us addicts who nod out in weird positions and cut off circulation to our limbs. I had the same thing happen to my arm and it went away cuz i would actually go to bed then nod out in a sleeping position. It happened to my right leg also and i lost feeling in my foot for at least 6 months.
anybody know what app he's talking about?? :0
This is really interesting to me I feel so sorry for him he’s obviously hurting a lot and has a lot of held back pain. My parents were addicts and my father died from alcohol and heroin. I can relate to the pain and suffering. It ruins lives. I hope he is able to find peace within and get clean 🙌🏽❤️
As someone who’s been an addict for 8 years: don’t get curious if you allow yourself to be curious and naive you WILL eventually use. Just stay away from them.
Its weird hearing him talk and realizing how many friends I have who are just like this but with less taboo addictions (pills, alcohol etc.)
This guy has a gentle soul. I like him.
Everyone is a functional heroin addict until there's no more heroin left
My bf used to use an eye dropper for his H. He would mix the H in a few drops of water then he would drop it in his nose with the dropper so I thought for sure that this guy was going to say that he puts it in his water. I really thought he was going to say that, that was what was currently in his cup that he was sipping on... Lol
This guy couldn’t possibly be more of a cliche 😫🙄
Lol - if he could choose he'd choose Heroin over methadone. 😂😂. Well doh!!
Very intelligent, kind hearted man. As a recovering opiate user myself, Kratom is the only thing that I’ve found to combat the physical withdrawals. There is still ALOT of emotional chaos that you must endure. It takes a helluhva lot of motivation and self accountability, but it’s doable. One thing I’ve noticed is, if someone doesn’t have a solid support system... a loved one that knows about the addiction and is willing to help/somewhat hold you accountable, the likelihood of self recovery being successful long term, is very low. I got to a point where I had to transfer almost my entire paycheck into a loved one’s account so I would have absolutely no way to buy anything. I would only recommend this if you can genuinely trust the person with your life. It’s worked for me so far. I will be making NOworld videos on my experience when I’ve been clean for a year or so.
I didn't know Steve Wozniak was a heroin addict.
Follow up interview for this guy, really hoping he's okay
You seem like a really cool dude. Ditch this shit if you can.........
He REALLY enjoys hearing himself talk & impose his ideals & that just how its supposed to be. Yeahhhhh
Damn all these non addicts trying to analyze us is the cringiest thing in the world. Hes talking a lot because hes high, opioids can make you talkative. Says nothing else...that's literally all there is to it.
Functional heroine addict from California. Thanks Gavin Newsom! I really like how he internalizes the racism he faced as a child and still has a low opinion of white people.
Just be real with me how many peoples balls or vaginas Tingled with just a tiny bit of Joy, even if you're sober when someone says oxy 80s. Scrape off that green time release.
"it makes me happy" :'( i know the feeling all too well. when its the ONLY thing that makes you happy. Only people that have been there would understand how deep these "concepts" are. My heart aches bc I understand all too well. 2 years sober.
I know I don’t know you but, I am so proud of you❤️
Why is he holding his urine sample?
I find this really irresponsible. No heroin addiction is “under control.”
Pathetic piece of shit
Why?
20:00 She is smoothing it on the bathroom floor because it does not matter where it is done. When I am really hungry, it would not matter if a pizza i get for free is just cheese or if it is pepperoni. It simply does not matter, im hungry now and soon i will be eating pizza. I think everything in life becomes like that for a real addict. it does not matter if you sleep in vomit and lick toilet floors since there will soon come a time that is worth so much more, times a thousand. Issues us ordinary folk have just pales in comparison to their issue of not having drugs in their system.
That’s a horrible analogy. The heroin equivalent to your analogy would be I don’t mind if I get powder, tar or pills. Or even a closer analogy would’ve been wouldn’t care whether I smoke snort or shoot...but you wouldn’t eat pizza off the bathroom floor right? Lol she was a wack job trust me
He’s walking a fine line...literally playing Russian roulette. This isn’t rare...millions of Americans..are “functioning addicts”.....He is just out of the closet. I don’t know which would be better....a stay at home mom who also takes care of her sick mom and has access to her fentanyl patches and pain pills but NOBODY knows or him who feels comfortable enough to tell millions of people he smokes the heroin because he sees what shooting up can do. He needs to see his worth, handle his daddy issues so he can help pull other functioning addicts out of the pit.
Definately delusional✋🏻. So functioning yet still gonna od.
Good luck Matthew. You seem like a cool kid. I hope you can get clean one day.
I love how he clarifies that blink 182 isn’t punk. I like this guy.
@Dillon Hicks he literally said 10 seconds later he got called a poser a year later lol
Lol I bet you he's probably been called a poser for liking blink which is why he said that
wish his gf was on here with him
I relate to this guy. The pills hit me and I'm cleaning and happy and energetic. Best of luck to this man. He deserves to be clean.
If the interviewer would stfu it would be a much more pleasant watch, some things he says are straight up rude
As soon as he starts talking about heroin and "roxys" he sounds like he is head over heels in love, or talking about a child that he is proud of. Not uncommon. I have heard people talk about hard drugs as their "one true love" for which they will do anything.
I’m struggling to find the “functioning” part. This guy seems completely broken.
I understand that this video wasn't made to glamourise heroin use in any way but judging by some of the comments i fear it has minimised the impact of heroin use to some viewers . Don't be fooled by the likeness of Matthew (super chilled dude , i have to say ) heroin will either kill you or completely destroy your life .The title is very misleading (oxymoron ) as there is no such thing as a "Functional Heroin Addict" . I am now 51 years old and dabbled with drug use . ALL the people/friends that i knew of that did heroin are all dead or might as well be . Heroin is fucking evil
Do a follow up . Let's see where is at in 10 years time ?
i just wanna know why he thinks he is getting real heroin, i’ll make a bet he thinks he doing heroin but he doing fetnal, no way he testing it an no fetnal coming up, an bro why would you be drunk an decided to do some strong shit after knowing dude give u junk, well i’m guessing it was the booze making u not think but drinking an heroin just asking to od, an ur dealer sucks balls he didn’t warn you not to do much after he told u he had fetnal, funny thing is that’s the heroin u think ur getting from him he just gave u an uncut line but def a d bag letting u do big line specially knowing ur typically a smoker
Fucking 30s..
My prayers are with him ,so much potential.God bless all the sick and suffering addicts. ❤💪🙏Your stronger than you think abd everyone is different dont let them scare you with their stories. Anyone can get clean.
I worked with a guy like this he was productive at work and he confided in me on one occasionabout his addiction. I never would have guessed he had zero signs. A year later our boss called us all in one morning for a speech which he did periodically through the year but this time I got a different vibe right away the boss announced this guy passed away in his "sleep". RIP M
Dude OD, almost died and said he was proud of being clean for a week. Look how far that went.
In regards to that "outkast" thing, I grew up in the UK, I have red hair and never felt part of any ethnic group. If you have red hair you are abused in a racist way from childhood and it continues in society as you get older. I also suffered actual racism (anti-white) a couple of times from indian kids. I remember "kick a red head day" at school, being kicked by a girl two years below and feeling completely powerless. Red heads are in a weird position in terms of the discrimination they face as it comes from all sides and is considered acceptable. I remember growing up feeling ugly because of it, becoming very shy at High School, and even thinking there were certain jobs I could never do because of my ethnicity (couldnt be a red headed teacher, couldnt be red headed politician etc. because of all the abuse you would get) and I thought I didnt want to have kids because who would want kids with my hair colour? From my early teens I felt no place in society and knew I needed to leave. Basically I felt an outkast my whole life until I reached 25 and emigrated. Now I am happy ✌✌✌ (28 now).
Where have you moved?
"Atleast I'm not doing ass to ass for money." I guess that's a win...
It's not the opioids. It's the dopamine. You can't buy dopamine in small bags on the street. You have to like "force your brain to produce it" using other drugs.
i really like this guy iwould like to see him sober and see how things are for him then
Nice film work! What did you use to take that amazing still shot??
no one cares
Is his hair made of wood?
Ending was a bit awkward between Matthew and the interviewer but this was a great insight. Cheers guys.
Dude when does he get to the heroin part?
around 23:25 i did the same fucking thing, took two fat ass foil hits of fentanyl and fuckin OD'd. thankfully i was with a good friend (smoking in his car) so he raced to his house and got his narcan and shot it in my nose and saved my fucking life. this was 2-3 months ago..... i had just quit methadone cold turkey but you know opiates, i wanted some. he didnt have any h and passed me the foil with fent, and yep with a very low tolerance i took fat hits and that shit happened . i havent touched opiates now for about a month. quit cold turkey went thru the withdrawals. that scared the FUCK out of me. i'm cool.
Watching this reminds me of my boyfriend who just passed away in his sleep on March 18th. We don’t know the exact cause yet but he was a “functional” prescription pill user / recreational drug enthusiast and it probably didn’t help that he was into stuff because I’m sure with prolonged use anything could happen at any time, plus he didn’t eat the best and just didn’t take care of himself super well. I was worried but I could see he was trying to get better while we were dating and was always honest about what he was doing. He texted me days before before he died saying he loved me more. I knew he had the be the one to stop, I was just there to love him. He also felt like his xans made him “better” and like he just could handle life. I just wish we had more time. He was the most amazing and caring soul to me and also loved Blink. Don’t think I’ll ever love someone like that again. I hope this guy makes it.
This guy looks like the nerdy computer genius that saves the day in every action movie ever
It's too bad. This guy would probably be able to live a decent life, hold a job, if he could just get stable. Buprenorphine / Suboxone would probably work well for this individual. I've been on Suboxone 20 year's now. I have a two daughters, stay at home wife, beautiful house in the suburbs, and a great paying job. I haven't done any other drugs in 20 years. It's been a life saver.
Whites moved from Oakland to Hayward , Hayward to Castro valley. The forever gypsy running from diversity, seeking homogeneous safe communities.
I was never a functioning addict. Always felt as though I was affected by the withdrawals & cravings so much more than the ppl around me. Heroin is hell. 3+ years sober. Never thought I’d get here & it feels fantastic.
If he continues he will die. He's nowhere near done. It seems he still thinks he has a little power over it. He still thinks he can leave it or take it. I had to be locked up in jail, or rehab just to get dry and then day. Have had probably 30-40 people i've known die just from H. Been in a program since 1988 and have put together 10 years sober and clean.
This guy's one of my all time faves
I did it for a long time, never ends well
A real spoilt brat ,who still thinks its ok to behave like he does .
removing all that hair would make him feel so much cleaner and tidier
There is no such thing as a functioning heroin user ... I’m sorry ., no matter how much I thought I had it under control , in reality it controlled me .. Never again !!!!!!
I think we need a follow up on this guy!
Damn thats crazy he mentioned the thing about his hand getting numb. Ive been experiencing the same thing and had the same thought he did.
Its cuz you nod out on your arm and cut circulation off.
He is on a heroin ramble,,,, ramble ramble ramble, jizz in my pants, then nod off for four hours, then wake up & have to get more heroin, then talk some poor chumps ear off. This is definitely a heroin induced speech. I can’t listen to it anymore! STFU YOU DRUGGY
Pshhhh smokes h pussy
Hayward California baby Lets Go
My first thought was that he sounds exactly like me when I haven’t taken my Adderall. I am so blessed that I never got into drugs.
@INTO THE FOLD I really hope his or her comment was a joke.
Is this a joke? There is almost no difference between adderall and meth. Hate to break it to you but you're into drugs. If your comment was a joke then sorry for the explanation.
No such thing as a functioning heroin addict
Suboxone man. Go to a sub doc.
alcohol will inevitably lead to shit
this dude is fucking rambling on
why is stuff laced with fentanyl?? is fentanyl cheaper?
Cheaper, Made in China!
I have been looking hard and long for you my guy, I love you!
Jfc, this guy is "functioning", but like obviously very not okay. This is such a deep kind of depression with the facade of okayness
He has a vice and a problem but he’s a good man. Hope you get better son and try your best. You can get help but it’s up to you mate. If you die, you’ll go to heaven. Your honesty is pure.
Jesus saith unto him, I am the way, the truth and the life: no one cometh unto the father, but by me john14:6
Well that explains it, he’s from 1980 living in the future.
“sounds like a normal childhood” gets a knife pulled on him at 9 his cousins friend gets murdered ???
Would help if you cut your hair and shaved
You can function but only for so long😩
I was a functioning heroin addict, until I wasn't. Eventually the functioning ends. It took a lot to get to that point but we all get there eventually.
DO NOT take from this video that you could maybe try heroin and be like this man...you can’t and I’m telling you you can’t, my mother been a heroin addict my whole life and I seen first hand what this drug really does...by far the worst of the worst drug ive ever seen...please kids and even adults that are watching this...NEVER TRY HEROIN
He looks like a guy out of that 70s Show 😊
You're feelings and experiences Are valid. The mind can be our master or our best friend. But we decide by our daily actions. Much love
NICE ; SYMPHATIC; HONEST GUY :))))
As also a heroin addict, I can co sign to everything he says
Piece of shit
No such thing
That's what every job I've ever had has been like. Me and a few others carrying the company with multiple workloads.
"I liked basketball but wasn't good enough to get on the team". ... Why did my heart instantly melt for his inner child. 😫
“In 2012 I was dabbling in black tar heroin”
this guy is dilusionall(sp) this guy isn't functioning he's lying to himself and everyone. This poor guy just hasn't seen the worst of it yet its coming though poor guy
🤍🤍🤍🤍🤍
I had the same numb left hand , I would try to ignore the pains i got as well ,Ended up being a brachial plexus tumor that was growing larger and larger each day. My advice to you don't ignore symptoms. It could be something bigger.
This is what Walter Sobchak was doing in his youth....after he returned from Vietnam with PTSD before he met Jeffrey Lebowski and went on to be his best friend, aside from Donnie.
everyon has their own poison an it is the mindset you use the drug with that gives it the properties you allow it to give..
hes blasted off da oxy rn
Matthew my guy, you are worth it.